1. You are the only one thinking about it
As much as we like to believe that being mad at someone for what they did to us is killing them inside as much as it is killing us; more often than not, it really isn’t. The receiving end of your anger is not losing a wink of slept over the issue while you are. Why hold on to a grudge when you are most likely in it alone? It’s like you are serving time for someone else’s crime.
2. They have power over you
Just face it, they are indirectly controlling you. If you have to avoid going to certain places, hanging with certain people, or are letting this affect your work or personal relationships, then the issue is making you go out of your way. Take your power back.
3. Remember, you are just forgiving, not forgetting
“Forgive and forget” sounds good, but just doesn’t work in reality. You need to forgive, but there is nothing wrong with learning from the experience to avoid it in the future. Of course you don’t want to continuously hold an issue over someone’s head after you’ve forgiven them. However, you also don’t want them to forget how much they’ve affected you the first time around and repeat history.
4. Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean that everything is OK
Forgiving doesn’t mean things have to go back to exactly the way they were. It may be necessary for the person to no longer be a part of your life and that’s okay. You are just making peace with the issue and agreeing to neutrality with the person at the very least.
5. You will thrive socially
There is a strong correlation between people who hold a lot of grudges and people who say that no one likes them. Humans are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Take life less personally and be quicker to forgive. Surely you’ll be more likable, thus improving your happiness and chances of forging life-changing relationships.